Mainstream Media and School

Have you seen this video? Or, better yet, read this book?


Is it funny? Or just disturbing? how books and movies so effectively illustrate the spirit-crushing tendencies of structured schooling, without intention?

It's satisfying for me, as a mother who would prefer her child to never enter public or private school, to see  these examples so widespread in mainstream media, but it's sort of like the anarchism thing in that I just can't understand why people accept this as normal so...passively.

I mean, how is this video NOT disturbing? (outside of the fact that the little pup appears to have a happy home life!)

Obedient Children

So, there's a pretty awesome article up on Attachment Parenting.org that seems to have everyone in a tizzy. Titled, I Am Not Raising Obedient Children, it articulates my own thoughts on the subject perfectly.

I do not want a passively obedient child. I want a child who thinks for himself and chooses his actions out of preference rather than my say-so. That might mean that he learns socially appropriate behaviors by FIRST acting (as others would call it) disobediently. So, like the author of this excellent article, I would indeed prefer my child act disobediently and question my authority.

The comments accompanying this post are, to me, somewhat alarming. It seems that everyone has the same belief; given half a chance, every toddler in the known world will instantly run into the street and die. Avoiding this future is then the primary reason most parents discipline their children and practice a punishment and reward system of behavior modification. Seriously?

The street?

Why is it always the street. Parents seem deathly afraid of the street, and I really can't figure it out. I've mentioned we're car-less? Yes, well, my two year old doesn't seem very keen on playing in the street, and he's never once been punished or disciplined regarding proper roadside behaviors. Yes, when he was younger, he liked to dart into the street. Mostly because he didn't understand the differentiation between a sidewalk and a road. I was mindful of this fact, and kept a close eye on him as we walked to and fro our differing destinations. Sometimes, I had to chase him down. Sometimes, we just talked about the road and cars, and the danger I saw. Sometimes, we noticed dead animals along the side of the road and they served as excellent natural examples of why I 'preferred' K walk only on the sidewalk.

It took time. Months in fact, but today, he walks the sidewalk without holding my hand. He stops of his on volition at every cross street and carefully waits for me before continuing across. He notices the cross-walk signals, and even juts his hand out in a stop motion if he feels that a car is edging too much while we cross. He's not quite two and half.

So, the road people? Really...that's the best excuse for why one should utilize punishments and rewards. It seems a bit weak to me.

The other comment I saw often mentioned was that our children must learn to respect authority because there are certain instances where the parent or caretaker can foresee a dangerous reaction BEFORE the child. Or, they can understand the harm being done by the child's action better than the child...or maybe they just have a better grasp upon compassion than said child. For example, the undesirable behaviors of hitting, biting, or other physical actions that might cause harm to themselves.

So, I don't punish these behaviors, and, so far, we've yet to really experience anything like these. And, honestly, if my kid wanted to hit other children, or otherwise physically harm them, I'd be too alarmed at the emotional state of my child WHO WANTS TO HURT PEOPLE to even consider punishing him. So...I'm not sure what else there is to say about that, but before punishing your child for harming another, maybe the parent's role should be to first understand WHY their child WANTS to hurt said child?

As for climbing too high, or running into the street, or some other action K might undertake that I might foresee has a dangerous consequence, I TELL HIM  what I see. I explain how his chosen action might end, and present other choices of behavior or action that might be safer. If he still prefers the dangerous activity, then I either stand by until needed (if he's climbing something high, ect..) or physically remove him from the danger (like a moving car on the road). And, frankly, there's not much trouble with this type of behavior. NOR, do I consider this sort of exploratory, testing-limits, style of behavior to be bad. I think it's good and healthy and simply requires a mindful physical presence on my part. Not too hard really.

And finally, folks seem to think that it's best that we get children used to listening and obeying an authority figure early on because that's just how life works. We don't get to do whatever it is we want to do when we grow up, so why on earth would we teach that this is true to our children?

Well, if you are an anarchist like me, then you DO actually want your child to grow up and see the difference between a free state and a regulated adulthood. And, if you're not an anarchist, then doesn't it at least bother you a teeny tiny bit that you're squashing some part of your child's innate personality and human construct just because. Just because that's...how things are done? hmmm...it's certainly worth some thought.

I Am a Voluntaryist

I am what is known as a Voluntaryist. I believe that human interactions should be voluntary and free from violence and/or the threat of violence. In simple terms, I am an anarchist who supports strong property rights, capitalism, and believes that the State is a monopoly of force and oppression that should no longer exist.

I am also a mother, a lover, and a woman who has entrepreneurial dreams of financial prosperity and self-sustainability. How do all these things relate to one another, how do they WORK with my base philosophical belief that all human interaction ought to be voluntary? This blog is a place for me to figure that out and share with you, my readers, the insufferable oppressions of government.

I am 23 years old and while that may seem very young for one with such firm (and extreme) philosophical beliefs, I assure you that I have seen a good bit of government intervention, force, coercion, and violent threat upon both myself, my family, and others. I have come to my voluntaryist tendencies purely through observance of the most simplistic and non-violent examples of human interaction. This is not a pie in the sky dream, this is real.

I have a young toddler. He has been a light in my partner and I's life ever since his conception, and I have strong belief in parenting with an eye on freedom. I want my son to realize his autonomy at the earliest age possible. I don't believe in 18 as a magical age of maturity; throughout his childhood with me, I want K to be challenged to choose for himself, to learn that which matters TO HIM, to realize the affect his actions have upon others without the fetters of rules, and to voluntarily interact with whomever he wishes. I want him to learn to say Yes and No on his own and stand up for his beliefs irregardless of the government fallout. As such, I would say that I parent a bit differently than most.

My partner supports our family through poker. That's right, I'm essentially 'married' to a professional gambler. It can be a crazy roller-coaster of a ride, but it keeps us self-sustainable which is of primary importance to a family calling for an end to the State.

I hope I can pass on my philosophies to others, but whatever the case, I hope that I can facilitate some constructive conversations. I welcome whatever comments/emails you can send my way, and I look forward to journaling life as I see it.