Strollers

If there's one thing I've learned after becoming a mother, it's that parenting is a constantly adjusting relationship that relies upon an open communication between parent-child. Some days, I feel that everything I knew satisfied K's every need and desire the day before no longer applies. He's grown up, or he's in a different mood, or he just has differing opinions than the previous day. It's hard not to find that frustrating, but, at the same time, I'm pleased that my child doesn't operate like clock-work. He's human just like me, and I know for certain that I have a spontaneous streak and a need for exploring that which is new and 'different'.

And so it was that (pretty much from the moment I wrote my last blog post on K's sudden ability to 'walk'), he reverted back to old behaviors of adament refusal to walk. I carried him around for a while, and, when the physical limitations of hauling around a very heavy toddler forced him to walk, he would follow behind screaming and crying as though I'd just beat him. *Sigh* It's SUPER fun to walk around downtown when you have a toddler trailing behind that is screaming, "Carry ME! I can't walk! Make me feel better!"

So, I've finally swallowed the last of my residual hatred toward strollers, and resigned myself to following K's lead in walking just as I have in every other instance of parenting. I've always been hardcore into babywearing, so there's always been this feeling of giving-up or committing some atrocious mis-step in baby development by using a stroller. Which is probably why we seem to have purchased more strollers than I would have thought possible in 2.5 years. As soon as there's some sign that K might walk a bit further than the month before, we get rid of stroller (it's actually more like we move every few months, but STILL it's the general idea).

There's also this whole lifestyle thing that sort of forces a stroller on us. We have been car-less for nearly a year and a half, and it looks like we'll be staying that way for quite a while. So, I have to be able to get groceries, books, toys, house-hold goods/EVERYTHING a family would ordinarily buy/accumulate without a car. Which makes plodding along at toddler pace (while he screams!) fairly...un-fun.

But, mostly, I've just decided that it doesn't jive with the rest of my parenting philosophy to expect K to walk when I want (or need) him to walk. Certainly not when there's an easy solution to the whole shindig. He's clearly CAPABLE of walking most of the distance that we cover each day, but that doesn't mean that he should HAVE to. I expect that some day he will WANT to walk for the freedom ect.. that it grants him, but that doesn't mean he should make that choice at two and a half.

So, I'm swallowing a huge lump of expectations and frustration and following K's lead. We went out together and purchased a nice brown umbrella stroller that should last us another year or so. The thanks I received was worth it too. All day today, K kept turning around and asking, "It's a great day Mommy?"

Clearly, he's able to tell that something has moved on for me. There will be no more fights over walking, no more screaming for unnecessary reasons, and more FUN.

A Walking Two Year Old

I used to have a boy who did not walk. That's not entirely true, he COULD walk, he just didn't see the point in walking from point A to point B in any sort of useful manner. Rather than wait out the eternity it would take to walk to the grocery store at 2 year old pace, I got into the rather bad habit of scooping him up and carrying him to wherever I was trying to go...even if this intended destination was a playground or similar place meant primarily for K's entertainment. BAD HABIT!

Once I came down with this semi-debilitating stomach bug from the trenches of hell, I found myself utterly incapable of carrying K anywhere. He screamed for a while...rather pitifully trailing behind N and I while we shuffled to the next door grocery store for soup and saltines. Nevermind the fact that we were very rationally explaining why it was simply impossible to expect that either of us could carry him the few remaining feet to the store. We explained about bellyaches and feeling sick, and helping Mommy and Daddy out to pretty much no avail.

And then, N and K went on a walk together. It required some heart to heart discussion about helping Mommy out and now my boy walks. Not only walks!, he occasionally RUNS. (I have a feeling there was some candy involved, and I'm sure the few days of being shut in with sick parents shed a new light on self-mobility.)

Yes, there's still some whining...but we take it slow, and we have only been walking to short destinations that are entirely worthwhile for K (i.e. playgrounds), so there's been REAL progress.

Yesterday, we were waiting for the local metro rail to take us home when I overheard a mother scream at her daughter, who looked roughly K's age, to walk. I know the feeling all too well. Is there ANYTHING more frustrating than KNOWING your child can walk and yet refuses leaving you with either a tantrum situation (PLUS no walking) or a passive 40lb dead weight to carry? Apparently this is why everyone uses a stroller until the kid's school-aged! (Note: I'm not agreeing with the screaming solution, just sympathizing with the general feelings of frustration a toddler's refusal to walk can invoke in the hardiest of parents.)